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01:13am 07/07/2008
 
music: nevaeh-sdaeh gniklat

 Oh wait... You know this answer Joe!

Nevermind.

 
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12:45am 07/07/2008
 
mood: discontent
music: talking heads-heaven

 Live Journal. What am I doing wrong?

 
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01:58pm 04/12/2007
 
mood: bored
music: mogwai
my right eye hurts. hopefully it's glaucoma. 

what ever happened to the live journal goat?
 
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10:19pm 25/11/2007
 
mood: aggravated
music: grizzly bear- knife
so ever since I quit the herb I've noticed my tourette syndrome progressively go back to the way it was. I've been blinking my right eye like crazy. Like seriously, it's unbareable. I remember asking some people not that long ago if they've ever noticed it and nobody really has. Now I have people pointing it out to me.  This sucks ass.
 
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12:18am 14/11/2007
 
mood: indifferent
music: radiohead-videotape
the day I am dreading is officially a week from today.
I still don't have a lawyer. But I have 2 pretty decent ones that I'm looking into. 

tonight at work, my cousin came in after a game of golf he had with his friend nick. I remember him from the Dark Star show over the summer. he called me 'at the drive-in kid'. apparently he knew officer conway (demon in blue). he told me this guy literally burned every bridge he ever had the moment he joined the force. he's a robocop now. while this doesn't exactly do a lot to help my situation, it feels good to know that I was fucked by a crooked cop rather than a respectful officer. ((karma, bastard).
I've never really laughed so much than I have lately with Cassie. we've been cracking eachother up for the past couple of days and I think it's great. it makes me think about the stress in my life and kind of just say fuck it. I hope it helps her in some way.

saturday...  cassie: what should we do?
 
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The strangest dream I've ever had.   
11:06am 09/11/2007
 
mood: crazy
music: grizzly bear-lullabye

My dream last night went various directions. I can't chronologically place the events in perfect order but enough to get an idea. Some how a parapalegic boy fell out of his wheel chair and rolled out his front door into the street. He made it all the way to the street because his front lawn was down hill. The way he rolled was very peculiar. As if he was floating face first down a river but over the door step hump, down a hill of grass to the end of the curb in front of his house. Imagine Glen Ellyn as the scenerio. Just as the boy stopped at the curb, he was runover by what everyone claimed to be a helicopter. His mother screamed "Oh my God! Not My Baby! My baby's been run over by a helicopter!" The thing that ran him over basically looked like a gigantic garbage truck/street sweeper/army tank. Events after this were hazy but I ended up in a room which was laid out like the bar at Arrowhead. The bar was replaced by a playground set up but all of the booths surrounding the bar were still present. I imagine whoever was holding me in this room had held me captive because I may have been responsible for the para's death. The person holding me captive had a gun. He shot the gun near me to remind me that the gun was loaded and would be used on me if I didn't cooperate. I recognize the person with the gun but after waking up this detail immediately went hazy. FLASH to a completely different scenerio. For some reason my dream switched directions to actor Vince Vaugn being executed for the para's death. The execution style was to be brought into outer space where he was dropped out of a space craft holding nothing but a big balloon. I imagine this is a dream with in a dream because though I can see Vince Vaugn in this scenerio, I feel it happening to me as well. In space, it is equivalent to being under water. I saw stars, planets, and the milky way around Vince, yet when he screamed bubbles poured out of his mouth as if he was screaming under water. I remember not being able to breathe but I also remember the feeling in my stomach as we fell through outerspace towards the earth. It was the feeling you get in your stomach gets when you experience a rollercoaster drop. I started to breathe again as we got closer to the atmosphere and clouds. I distinctly remember the air being very thin and seeing lights from buildings on Earth start to become visible through the clouds I was beginning to fall through. The sight of buildings and lights became more visible as I fell closer to the earth. I fell faster once I passed the clouds. Right when I  hit the earth, I woke up before the collision. I woke up from a dream I was dreaming within my dream. It was back at Arrowhead playground where I was being held captive. Now there are couches and a coffee table set up similar to someone's hang out spot in a garage. The man who originally held me captive was now laying in one of the corner booths covered from head to toe in cocaine. He looked like a fatter version of the Joker from Batman. He was shaking profusely because of how much coke he was covered in. I remember becoming frightened at this point because he was the man with the gun and I figured he would kill me for sure now that he is coked up. On the couch, I saw Sarah Jean. I approached her slowly because I figured she was insane judging by the fact that she was sitting next to a coffee table with two guns on it. She picked them up pointing the barrells at her feet. She released the spindels which carry the bullets to show me that the guns weren't loaded but were just used to scare me. Even though she never said it, I knew her intent to scare me was because I'd ignored her all summer long. Apparently this too was a dream because I woke up on a couch. The scenerio was now my Dad's cousin Jerry's house in Kentucky. The walls had wood panels, brown shag carpet, and the way the sun shined through the windows looked similar to how I used to wake up when I visited Kentucky 9 years ago. On the table next to the couch I was sleeping on was a bag of weed. I waked and baked which was very strange because the weed I packed into a pipe didn't look a thing like actual weed. It was a large chip about the size of a small journal. They had strange designs on them that looked almost like hieroglyphics. My brother bitched at me for "smoking his stash" then picked up the "weed" and chipped a corner off to pack into his pipe. A lot of details beyond this point became hazy again until I ended up on Jerry's back porch to see this girl I work with named Jenny Landec. She seems devastated so I chose not to talk to her since I really didn't know her well enough to make her problems my business. My mom is there and she explains to me that she is her long lost baby sister. It was the same situation as Cassie's family but Jenny was in Cassie's place. It made a lot of sense in my dream because Jenny is my sister's age and my Mom's dad died a month after my sister was born. I figured it made sense for my Mom's parents to have a lost child because of my grandfather's death so shortly after Jenny may have been born. I remember making connections of Jenny and my mom because I don't know if Jenny actually has blue eyes but she has blonde hair like my mom naturally has and my mom has blue eyes. I then emphasized her as my aunt and myself as her nephew to rid any physical attractions I may have had with her in the past. We sat down so she could tell me why she had just now found us to be her genetic family. I don't remember her story but I remember it being so sad that I had to bite my lip hard to fight tears. A lot of events grew hazy after this. A LOT of events. But this was all I could remember until I woke up for good.

 
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01:09pm 08/06/2007
 
mood: okay
music: a silver mt. zion

I don't believe @ ^*(% &)# &!* anymore...

 
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01:19am 22/05/2007
 
mood: content
music: phish-birds of a feather

so I met this girl who I found rather interesting.
she's totally love with this guy though.
hahaha.
typical.

 
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02:19am 28/04/2007
 
mood: exhausted
music: indian summer-orchard

life
 
=

school

           &

work.

I hate life.




but summer is near...

 
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08:01pm 21/04/2007
  twenty six days.  
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02:05am 15/04/2007
 
mood: high
music: curl up and die- god is in his heaven, all is right with the world
grind house was very rad. 
a bit long though.
i'm going to be tired tomorrow.

fin...
 
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my life lately... in words   
11:14pm 03/04/2007
 
mood: busy
music: iwrotehaikusaboutcannibalisminyouryearbook-untitled 1


work thursday-sunday. nugget. lots of random tunes. joey corbett+eric+myself=the gruesome threesome. science of sleep. random trips to the city concluding that buses are the worst public transportation. taxes are due in two weeks. I throw things when I get angry and it costs me money because I break things. I over analyze everything. a scanner darkly. hamlet (the play by billy shakespeare). eric's porch. procrastination. lack of sleep. car issues. lots of research on music business. big gulps/dr.pepper/7-11. slight social detachment. I started dreaming again. my hands get dry so they crack and bleed. toast with strawberry jam has been a popular snack of choice. and that's that. 

 
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11:47pm 25/02/2007
 
music: bucket full of teeth-the present,forsaken

Lately my life feels like a test to see how much bullshit I could take.

 
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04:39am 11/02/2007
 
mood: okay
music: godspeed-east hastings

One of my bosses got pissed at me today for not putting the kegs up on a shelf. He demoted me out of rage, then when I confronted him about it right when I started my shift today, he had a change of heart and blamed the problem on my "trainers". 
I'm glad that finally the people at my work are seeing that I'm not a complete dumbshit, I just don't know everything that I'm supposed to know by now because of my training (or lack-there-of).
It still worries me that my job is potentially on the line due to such lack of communication. 

 
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08:04am 09/02/2007
 
mood: sore
music: kodan armada-butterfly effect

Being sick isn't fun. Especially when it just comes out of nowhere so unexpectedly. I was just hanging out at Cassie's on Wednesday night and I began to feel naucious for no reason. All I wanted to do was lay down, but Cassie told me to go home. The moment I stood up it was like a ton of bricks just smacked me in the face. I went to the bathroom and straight puked my brains out. This continued pretty much every 30 minutes until 5:00am the next morning. The last thing I ate was what I threw up on Wednesday, I just had my first cigarette since 7:00 Wednesday, and I have about 20 hours of sleep under my belt. 
Yeaaaaaah stomach flu.

 
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01:45am 02/02/2007
 
mood: high
music: the mars volta

that ride home was a journey.

 
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interesting weekend   
07:04pm 14/01/2007
 
mood: tired
music: drive like jehu- human interest
Friday: Cassie and I chilled at her house until late, then ventured to Lisa's party. It was fun, but I'm still not used to seeing all of those people in the same room. After the party I went home somewhat early to sleep. My intentions of being in bed by 1:30am got fucked by not actually being able to fall asleep until about 6 or 7am. I hate when that happens and really hope that it won't continue.
Saturday: Sleep meant shit when Cassie busted in my room at 11:30am for a mall journey. I got black socks for work. Woo. Later on, Cassie, Megan and I took the train to Chicagi to visit Danny at his sweet apartment. Smoked a splif, laughed, and enjoyed the non-suburban life for 3 hours or so until we had to take the train back home (which was an unpleasant experience due to exhaustion, hunger, boredom, and stupid bitches who can't chew their loud tongues). I had a blast, and I'm glad Cassie and Megan were able to join. 
Sunday: Woke up at 10:00am (still not enough sleep), and headed out to my dad's with Jillian and Brian to eat pizza and watch the Bears game. I was the unfortunate candidate chosen to pick up the pizzas and let me just say, my luck blows. I got lost on the way to the restaurant because I hadn't been there since my 17th birthday, and I don't live in the area. I called 4 different phones, all of which no one responded, and began to get pissed. When things couldn't become more annoying, I go to turn right on a red and began conteplating whether or not I could make it before the traffic perpendicular to me. I couldn't because I was driving my sister's car and her tires had poor traction, so I brake. Apparently the white van behind me had poor traction as well, so he rear-ended me in my sister's car while I was already lost trying to find a fucking pizza place. Long story short:  Me and the other driver exchanged information, took off so we can both go watch the Bears game, and later on filed a police report resulting in my sister's bumper being cracked and the dude claiming responsibility over most of the accident. 

Overall, I give this weekend an 8.
 
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03:37pm 11/01/2007
 
mood: hungry
music: get fucked-inside the 8lb.dorm fire

I got a job at Arrowhead Restaurant.
I'm going to be a Bar back, which basically means I am the bar tender's bitch.
I'm stoked because I get to lift kegs all day and receive tips from drunk yuppies. 

A job unlike any job I've ever had.

 
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weekend   
03:27pm 08/01/2007
 
mood: bored
music: hhll-are you okay kiddo?

Friday: Joey, Taylor, and I chilled about for most of the day. Got rhippt and went to Tait's new crash pad, (which is sweet). It was to my understanding that I would be eating steak for dinner, so Joey and I made our way towards my house to find said events were nothing but fallacy. My mom and John went out for the night, so my bro and I had the house pretty much to ourselves. I invited Joey, Paige, Taylor, Tait, Armour, and such, and my bro invited a ton more as well. Chilled about, smoked a lot, ordered Roma D's and maxed out on pizza.

Saturday:
Seeing as how falling asleep at 5 wasn't an option, 8:00 was when my hyped up ass finally began snoozing. I woke up at 4:00 and basically sat around and relaxed all day. My mom and John left for the night again, so my brother and I had people over again. I didn't smoke (get stotally toaned), but I just talked with Chris and Tait and watched Coming to America. 

Sunday: Cassie called me bright and early because she came back from Mexico. This was exciting, so instead of leaving the house at 5, I left at about noon. Cass, Megan, and I chilled in her room discussing Riviera Maya for a decent amount of time until Cass and I ventured to Target. People at Target took forever to ring me up. It's funny that wherever I work, I am encouraged to do whatever I can to satisfy my customers, but when I go out and make my purchases, this "customer service" isn't ever given in return. Kind of lame how society works, but what can I do about it?  Went to Cassie's to eat Digiorno, then peaced out to Ehren's to watch Arrested Development Season 2. I'd never laughed out loud so much from a TV show. Armour swung by and the 3 of us went to the hookah bar. It was kind of disappointing because our coal was doing some lame shit for a lot of the time, so half of the bowl was smoked and half of the bowl hit like it was cashed. Blueberry tocacco is quite satisfying though. 

I don't write about my life very often, because as you can see, it consists of a lot of things that aren't all too exciting. It's not worth reading from another point of view, but more so worth it just to be there. I just felt like writing about my weekend for a change.



 
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05:45pm 31/12/2006
 
mood: bored
music: curl up and die

fuck '06.

 
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